Shyala has blue fingers.

It is getting increasingly hard to write these days. Age is catching on.

Shyala has blue fingers. It has of course, long been known she is a witch. Trevor has left, and the mood was quite sullen. Nevertheless, in the interests of history, and everyone who lived in the wonderful, now forgotten city of Dehiwala, the story must go on.

In those days, there wasn't a huge highway in Dehiwala. There were only flickery bottle lamps in little boutiques in the night, a mom taking her son to buy sausages, fishermen who would age gracefully having got past cirhossis, the Premadasa regime, yellow threewheelers, voltron, perfect stangers, foreign food worship, and even one day, Kopi Kade.

Those times truly were times of fun, and colour weren't they Ashan? They most definitely were. Remember what a treat it was, when amma got paid, and she used to buy Chinese from Alcatraz? truly the joys of the poor are deceitful. That rice packet very often competed with my affection for my mother. Now of course, God comes and says not to have idols. But, as you might read in my earlier posts, he is worth it.


Fast forwarding what, 18 odd years, wow, i live maybe just two kilometres away from that house in dehiwala, but so muhc has changed. I have changed. And I am changing everyday. i never, ever thought I'd be in advertising. But i am. And who Knows what i'll do tomorrow. Will i be in Sri Lanka for long? Will I be alive? I don't know these things, and i actually think of these things less than i should. A car would be nice though, soon, God, we chatted about this yesterday, when praveen was giving me a lift.

But it's been a great ride so far. And all in all, I have much to thank God for.

Konda Kirilliye

heard this song recently. an old sinhala song with quirky lyrics, a nice tone, and kind of sweet.

Dehiwala Boy: The Rise

This is not a very interesting story. Because see, Achchie, was not a very interesting woman. Of course, it is true that her father was a mudaliyar, liked planes*, got a malaysian pension and hid it in a saree, and two days before passing away peacefully to the sound of birds chirping in the coastal Dehiwala afternoon, she had had a good chicken fried noodles. But there is much to be said, and interesting domestic women to meet.

Lechchimi was by far the most interesting of these (may she rest in peace). Lechchimi lived like our other domestics, Pakiam, whose son didn't actually make it, but died in an incubator because of an ENT condition- pakiam also lived on the same stretch of waltzing kerosene oil flames, the nice homely smell of fresh firewood, that ran parallel to the Dehiwala railway line. The world was much more colourful everyone knows, in the nineteen nighties.

Amma, i remember used to proudly bob her head up and down to a tiny black walkman, which had box shaped small speakers the size of a cigerette pack. But, we shouldn't jump ahead of things especially when childhood is filled with things like Sunday school christmas parties, the hot twelve year olds there, and, family.

Until next time, just get familiar with the neighbourhood a little. At the bottom of the lane, live the muslims, and that is accepted as sufficient explanation of them, in this age where politically incorrect is satirical and therefore more intellgient than being politically correct.

Huseik, lives at the top of the road, affable young boy. The station can be seen from the middle of the road- it's just over the wall in fact. At the very end of the road, next to the muslims, and my paternal grandparents, is the wall that would divide where our domestics live from us, and make the little lane on station road my home for the next nine years. Haven't found our house yet? Achchi, might be there if you come in the morning, since i would have gone to school, my mother to office, and my grandmother to teach. Just knock hard.

Mathu Sambadhaiy... (to be contd.)

*achchi: Violet Mabel Bee Bee, married a radio engineer at the Palali airport, and lived basked in anthuriums, mutton, Methodist christianity, and possible racism. She also raised a son who became a airline captain, who also raised a son who became a pilot. In te same country as Elmo jayawardene, but that is literally another story.

Colombo Zoo opens branch in Kollupitiya!

After a good lunch at the Road House café (blessed be their chef) we came to the bus stand on duplication road where student from Mahanama were having such fun!
It was a water party all around. That’s slightly exaggerated actually, because unless you were in a school van, or a young woman dressed in office wear, you wouldn’t get drenched. The security guard was like the majority of others on the road who didn’t quite like water, but was too chicken to tell them what to do. Since school was over, a few of the teachers lovingly looked on  as they went home. One of my friends has taken a video which might go on the news today. I’m cool with kids having fun, but why should they want to harass others- just because they can? Now one of them might try and commit suicide by hanging themselves on their underwear when pulled up. Sigh.  

Btw, that poor, poor girl at Museaus. I was thinking, what she did  was nothing one of us- ok nothing I haven’t done at least? At least the porn sites which host blackmail inciting porn clips are down. Sure, it won’t prevent every sneakily obtained video clip from being posted, but it will show the victims, and the blackmailers that the law, and for us skeptics, the government ego is on their side. Sin men.

The inability to love, is the only real disability

Society is a killer. But I am not its minion.

A government, of which I am no citizen.

You have strength, but that comes from me.

You tell me who not to befriend, the method to be

As if inability to love, isn’t the real disability

One day, ill hit you society, and then you might learn

I control you, more than you control me



Note: the above i wrote because i was thinking back to an episode when i tried to befriend someone, or someone who had a mental problem tried to brefriend me, and both me and my friends found it really hard. What i am trying to say is, society works like the evolution theory. It leaves those unwell, unpretty, and unfragrant behind. And if w go back for them, it kind of does the same for us. But unfortunately, society is only the second step. Still, we don't need society dictating terms to our lives.

grandma, grandma, what big horns you have

had a fight with grandma. Grandma ate Max. Almost moved out. But decided to stay. Kinda makes you feel that if family is a place that you need to earn your place in as well, like office. What's the world coming to. Hmmm... Tough. Jogging's good though.

Hand Sanitizer, where have you been all our lives?

Hand sanitizer costs about Rs. 80 a small bottle, and unlike soap, does not require water to wash off.  Just imagine what that would mean in  the IDP camps and in the sun  scorched east interior villages, where drinking water needs to be rationed to a gulp a kid, every four hours or so! People in these villages and the camps aren’t going to be using the water they have to drink to wash their hands, so hand sanitizer maybe the answer. Can anyone take this idea and run with it?

i kinda know what you're on about, just that i'm not kinda interested like

"You know this guy he was just some old friend- just called him a few times, when i had issues with boyfriend and stuff- not for long maybe like eight years or so, and then when i broke up, he asked me out. Can you like believe it? They just don't get it do they. i mean i might want you when the chips are down mate, but in hell I'm going to be seen with you! To make matters worse he got all emotional when i tried to show him where he belongs (faraway) ok i didn't say that, but don't you think he should have kind of guessed that, like?- So anyway i don't think there's like anything worse than a guy getting emotional when you're going like whatever. I mean i find it such a turn off when guys get all emotional. It makes me want to be sick. If you get emotional, what am I here for jackass? I mean why can't they get upset about more important things like a bad hair day, or a bad bum day. Jeez. You must be wondering how I go on in a world like this. Well, for many women it is sadly, the same story."

The average woman


"Don't you think that if negative chauvinistic trends are to b done away with, bullying, inequal opportunity, physical rape, then negative feministic traits should also be done away with, considering it cool to brand male emotions uncool, blondeness, screechy voiceness, bitchiness"

The average man


"Well, how do I say this there might be many reasons that the guy provoked her to act like that, and i don't quite think we are seeing the same story. basically, i think what I'm saying is, Like so get a life."

The average woman


"Ashan, how many times have i told you not to go and lay your emotions on people you can't trust when i love you so much."

The average God


"But my mind and the aethists say you don't exist. And anyway i thought you would help"

Ashan


"He doesn't exist"

The mind, and the average aethist


What a day, appa. Luckily when friends desert us, hopefully there is someone to fall back on.


"it's imaginery Ashan"

Aethistic voice in head


"Food is getting cold Ashan"

Grandma at home

Ane Me Wackster Dhanna itti gediyak!

Did it make you feel good whackster? You thought no one would find out, didn't you? That when you said watchmen was bad, we wouldn't go to watch it, and then we wouldn't find out how good it was. Was it the competition Whackster- you thought the excitement in it will make your puny little lair as desolate as the cavity you call a mind? Not seen blood before whackster? Not seen a man suspended 90 stories above ground before he fell gracefully, cushioned by his skull? Is that it whackster? Perhaps you thought we couldn't handle the truth? You listen up and listen well you unholy unarty enemy of all entertainment we can afford. Watchmen was by far the best piece of art in motion ever created.

:) ok, the movie was really good. A little long, but the art direction took sin city and threw it off a building. Especially during the setup. And none of that excuse me, i get to go in without a storyline because i'm a comic nonsense. it's beginning and end though unconventional (and therefore slightly expected) gave it a sense of realism. It was however, not the most inspiring thing to watch. Great movie, if there ever was one. A good story, brilliantly told.

Another sermon from a hypocrite

I just got this email from the purpose driven life. i don't read my hotmail much but just checked it. i am the last person to be preaching, but this article also covers a bit of that. Hope it helps you. if it doesn't, I'm really sorry.


"I was listening to a psychologist on the radio recently. A guy called in and was pouring his heart out about how guilty he felt for things he had done wrong. He asked, "How can I get rid of my guilt?" This psychologist said: "You can't. You've got to learn to live with it." I almost shouted at the radio: "Wait a minute! Give me that guy's phone number! He doesn't have to go through life filled with guilt!"

There is no reason in the world you have to live with guilt. God has given us a way to get rid of guilt. It's called confession. God promises that when we confess, He forgives us instantly, totally, completely, freely, and continuously. If a Christian is carrying guilt around, it's because they're not taking advantage of what Jesus Christ did on the cross. Give God your guilt. Doing this, asking for pardon, is the next step in making contact with God.

God wants to forgive you. You don't have to beg for forgiveness: "God, please, pretty please with sugar on it!" You don't have to bargain: "God, if You forgive me, I will never do it again." You don't have to bribe: "God, if You'll forgive me, I promise to always read my Bible." You simply believe you are forgiven.

If you ever run out of things to pray about, just get specific about your sins and weaknesses. When I talk with God about my weaknesses and sins, I never lack for subject matter. In fact, I'm always coming up with new material! There's plenty of things to talk about in my life that need to be changed.

You worship God through prayer when you give Him your love (praise), your life (purpose), and your worries (provision). And also when you ask Him for forgiveness (pardon) of your sins."

An evening after the rain

IMG_0122
Originally uploaded by dehiwala boy

A cold wednesday morning it was, around 1 am

By the way, do chekc out the video posted underneath. Life as explained by the thais.

No one defines life better than thai insurance

Great stuff to the team who wrote/ shot/produced this, and to the clients who let them do it.

Walk the line- by Mahinda R supported by the 19 million orchestra

This are a few thoughts in response to this post , where there was debate as to whether Buddhist flags were used in celebrating the military victory. One of my friends said at Keg, that it’s time for the moderate Tamil voice to be heard. I don’t know if I am Tamil enough or moderate enough, but this tries to be one.

It is hard to find a family in the north whose children have not been killed and replaced with some lame piece of paper that gives directions to their heroic resting place. Such was how the LTTE treated the people it protected. It was the classic case where the sheep dog was worse than the wolf.

Not content with having killed near thousands of the poor and middle class of the rest of Sri Lanka, the LTTE even rejected the country's less than perfect, but desperate attempts at peace.

There is no doubt the LTTE got what it asked for.

When the miliary victory came, even if many did celebrate with the Buddhist flag as well, as i personally believe they did, I do not think this is an important sign of doom, a view that the tamils in colombo, and outside sri lanka are fearing. One of my friends pointed out quite reasonably they couldhave been put up earlier for Vesak. Maybe, maybe not.


I am both non-Buddhist and half Tamil, and have spoken to some in the conflict areas as well as the Tamils who live, and work here.

This in my opinion is all GOOD. But to say that anyone questioning the government or military is unpatriotic, is to make the tamils' fears come true. No?. The fears of a future where they (the tamils) will not be protected by the majority.

Remember how the Germans didn't actually want the Jews to be killed, but they somehow seemed to just be swept in with the reforms that Hitler brought in?We cannot let the good the government does make us overlook its faults.

On the other hand, we have to make sure we give it the patience and the support it deserves.

How well we walk this line, all of us as sri lankans, is what will show ten years from now. All the best to us!

Hey they have improved the president's speech!

I think it goes something like this:

People First.

People Second.

People Third.

If we care about people around us, we will definitely have a trouble free country. If we look for country first, what is to stop people pointing at anyone they have a problem with, or disagree, and saying that person is not "country" i.e.: The implementation of nationalism is a tricky thing. If we truly love and want a great country, whcih every single sri lankan does, we will start considering, caring for those around us. i honestly think it's as simple as that.

*Btw, i hope i don't get sued, they haven't improved the speech, i think this approach is what we need.

I'm boycotting all American and European products today. But you can wait till tonight.

The zimbabweans are now digging gold to pay for bread. And America, Europe, and their like have still not written off third world debt. it is not idealism. It is justice. They deserve to be tried for mansluahgter and negligence every time they decide to let people die to keep their economy strong. it's time we did something more than bloggin about it. What do you guys say?




Watch the vidoe on youtube(embedding not allowed): www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ubJp6rmUYM

More great ads, that we didn't do

these were shown at a creative review, ad thingy recently. Had to share them with the rest of you outside advertising.

Nomis Boots


Crest Bulldozer


orange TV

arundhathi roy was rong.

I did't like god of small thing for its extreme cynicsm. But What she says here about the relevancy of an opinion, being connected to its power in society, and the fact that you don't have to EARN your voice in society, I thought was something nice. However, I realised later, Hitler's comments got a crowd, but it didn't mean they were right.. Watch from 0:58 onwards...

No, I won't change my heading to get you in here

Blogging, i would like to propose is, something like the eye-opening in the garden of Eden. It has brought with it a self consciousness that has changed us forever. God forbid, hindered. Needless to say, it is for many like me, the only hope of being read. Or who am i kidding, i am extraordinary, a little. I watched Leader. By Ranjan Ramanayeke, and it was absolutely brilliant.
While there is some ambiguity among pseudo intellectual circles about whether the humour was deliberate or not.





I also read a bit on Google books on kiran desai's book. The splendid wondrous thing opens, "The Mist moved slowly across the mountains like a water creature".

Also, brilliant, is of course, dilly-dallying's blog, and Harold Pinter's Screen Play collection. He steps back and forth in time, creating real characters in all his plays, particularly, the Reunion, the Proust Screen Play, and the Servant. You won't be able to read it until i return the book to british council tomorrow.

Anita Desai is a disappointment, because everytime she describes something, you hope to see your childhood, your great grand mother, your lane down the road, but alas it's someone else's. You shout stop, stop, when she writes because you know what she is talking about, or rather, where she she is taking you back to. She has inherited her daughter's syntax, best and stylishly described, as alternative. "Fire on the Mountain," please.

I am also convinced that communism is the way forward, and have been intrigued that in a country where 70% are poor, they vote capitalist. Even the poor people vote UPFA. Socialist yes, to an extent not nearly as much as the LSSp or the JVP could be.

It seems through much prayer, the joy is gently stealing in to work again. Thankful for that.

A crippled woman is healed- gulshan esther's testimony

Group Psychology by Ashan

Ok. Now, all you would have been in a position when it felt like it was you against the group. One person says something, others kind join in, and soon it's you against the group. This kind of negative synergy is paralysing. You ability to do this or the lack of it is what determines if you are a dominant personality or a pushover. I'm generally the second, unless I'm with friends. So how do you deal with this when it's being done unfairly?

1. Understand that a group is made up of individual people, and focus on them seperately.

2. Now focus on your main opposition, the person you're having the debate with. Realise he/she is a human and is thinking of ideas, understand her/his idea and respond.

3. Do not focus, or pay any attention to the mood or attitude of either her/him, or of the others. Dominant personalities commonly manipulate the mood in the group in his/her favour.

4. Be extremely confident and value your opinion as equally valid as the other person's.

5. Sometimes you have won by this step. But sometimes not. If what you say is recieved coldly, or sounds plain lame, do not be discouraged. Go to step 3 and come back here.

6. In two or three cycles, i guarantee you success. I tried it myself.

Credit card woman, you can call me anytime

At the moment, i love those women who call to remind you about credit card payment. The follwong is a true story.

"Sir, can you pay 100% today?"

100%?! I thought i normally can get away with the minimum. Can I pay 10,000? my outstanding is 26,000.

"Ok, sir, that's 200% right?"

The battle rages on.

In that corner we have terrorism, and political tyranny. In this corner, we have the intentional tremors, always ready to throw the unsuspecting opponent anything from the dreaded multiple sclerocis to a mere brain tumour, or the more tried and tested parkinsons diseases. Let's not forget the sympathy needing grandmother, turned viscous through years of strife and bitterness.The match is about to begin. Time to put on those faith and wait gloves. "oh it's another blow from the personality disorder". That's a bad start and our hero knows it. He's being doing well so far. But if not for his grace teeth cover, the porn blow could have been quite drastic. The next match includes the challenge of full time ministry. Will he face it? or will he not have to?

I'll cheer you in whatever you guys are battling. Hope God does too. BTW, i have realised no point being scared of god. That's very important. Let me repeat. No point being scared of god. No point being scared of god. No point being scared of god.No point being scared of god.No point being scared of god. Pray anyway, man. The porn hasn't left though. it's developing faster than IT.

And happy birthday Trevor.

Some morning humour

Today, skipping to work and passing a well known computer place (EPSI, galle road colombo 3) I noticed a grey BMW Jeep parked by the side of it (note: environment= bright morning, kind of industrial, but quiet street). The jeep suddenly inched towards the wall, lovingly ironing the two security guards in to the wall, leaving them inches between life and death. What a cracker. Everyone laughed, the two near-corpses included. Would have been very different if the roles were reversed.

Patsy Cline- I fall to pieces

reminds me of a long, long time ago, when my mom used to play this. the music gave some calm to the tension in the house. those were the days. my step dad with his legs rolled out smoking looking at absolutely nothing. The cold north dehiwala nights, that looked out over glimering lights to the ratmalana faraway. far beyond our little home in its belling tree enclosure. and the sausages frying in the kitchen. My great grandma- and grandma back 2 km away- lightyears as afar as a 7 year old was concerned. Gosh life changes. luckily, we don't fall to pieces. Even in the case of rizna. When she wanted me to forget... act like we've never met.. I have tried, and and i've cried... he walked by, and now, i don't fall to pieces.

Remember the orginial thundercats, get ready for the spoof

i loved this more than anythign on earth.

All you thunder cats fans, get ready for a treat!

it's my all time fv- cartoon. and it never sopunded worse than i does here:)

Complexity, is the only thing in life you can take for granted.

Why don't we have ads like these in Sri Lanka? Is it the public, the agencies, or the marketeers?

Goodbye Sony Ericsson K510i, your candle burnt out long before your legend ever will

Yes. Yesterday on the way to Mount. Kakka thing happened. It slipped out of my cargo pants softly, beautifully. My old phone was never one to call attention to it. It was one of the few things I loved that took whatever I gave it. It taught me how to enjoy the beauty of symmetry, of video, of blue tooth. I loved her. Now she is in the palms of another, an asswipe who cut the phone when i called it and didn't reply to a message saying Ill pay him whatever he , or should i say IT, wants. I am tired. Tired of being used. Tired of having to play nice guy to a screwed up world that is all out to pounce on you. A world which shows you no mercy. This phone episode, just unlocked a whole load of other questions, about people, about God, about the world- how everyone always uses you- you know these things always make us ask big qestions, question, doubt, lose faith, or realize). In the bible it says, if we do good without getting tired we will receive the allotted harvest. We will see. I am tired. Life is ugly. It's putrid. It'll spit you out like yellow light on a desolate street. You walk alone. You doubt yourself. Life, is a very, very ugly thing. John 3:16 Maybe? One day?

Heard what happened on Friday night?

"Yes. They didn't come home. No we called the police, the police said it's out of their control. 4 boys men- yes- Tamil- what do you expect. Yes, they had come in to the church premises, and taken these boys away. You know no, we also tell them not to go for these all night prayer meetings. But don't people care that things like these happen?"

Some would say: "With the country situation, what else can they do, it's after all for the greater good no?"

Others would say: "Don't just make mountains out of mole hills men"

I would say: "This is an incident that has apparently taken place at a church on Friday. Of course it could be routine. The chances are, it isn't. I personally think it's race, used as an excuse to attack a religion this time. The reason I bring it up is that, one day, if I am taken away, I hope someone will speak for me".

It's either how crazy christians have fun, or

What can't you live without?

I can live without u, u, u and it, but i can't live without You. I can live without my career. I can live without money.I can live without a relationship. I will suffer, but what breaks
me, is the thought of believing that all that I did was a lie. I used to wonder, whether I am living in the matrix. To be free, to believe in what my mind tells me, my own reason. But I have realised I don't want that. I find it hard, I suffer, I go back to the others but nothing can satisfy- it's so hard to right this post- because I am not at the top of the world- God help.
"As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you"
"you alone are my heart's desire, and I loooong to worship you"
It's this deep sense of emptiness. If the fact, that there is a God shaped void in everyone of us, is a lie, it's a damn, good lie.

Chapter One of Muthulingam, the dog who lived in Wellawatte

Dickens would say it was the best of times, and it was the worst of times. Doriasamy Muthulingam, knew it was the worst of times. Muthulingam, was a dog, who had balls. Not literally, of course. Mohammed, that swine in feline skin, had seen to that. What had been worrying him however, something far more complex, something his mother had warned him about a long time ago. Racism. Muthulingam didn't like racism. Every time he heard cars going fast, it reminded him how weak he was, how insignificant he was, how dispensable he was. It made him feel, like a Sri Lankan. So he sat and he watched, the world go by, life go by, dinner, on the other side of the street go by. He saw the police across thestreet. Who like him, were protecting their turf, and who like him, took food without paying for it from the neighborhood shops. But unlike him, they weren't chased away. Having thought that, Muthulingam knew there were many who had less than he had. Like for instance, Threewheeler, the dog who had lost his right hind leg in an accident. Or Dainis De Silva, who at nearly ninety, never missed a Friday night. Muthulingam, was one of few who had ever associated with him. Dainis De Silva was no man of the neighborhood. He came from nearly three hours away, from a little house, in a village in Ambalangoda, every weekend, on a crutch, to beg. Muthu wanted to protect the old man. Buy him something to eat, but all he could do was bark away the rats tried to gnaw on him. Like they gnawed at the other beggar. Muthulingam didn't know his name. But not that anyone called him either. He had been reduced to less than a dog, less than a man in the eyes of the world. The rats ran around his face, over his sarong, as he huddled across the stinking wet street. Or like teen girl, the sixteen year old in a tight shirt, whose parents tried to sell her by force. She opened at 8pm for business. She like her cousin, was an optimist. But unlike her cousin, she was taken dressed, innocent and new, not drugged, laughed at and by force.

Muthulingam hated Cow girl. It wasn't so much her cleanliness, or her smell, or her fur, but her attitude. He was never good enough for her. She barked him down, in front of people, in front of the pack, even in front of vehicles. He wasn't actually sad that she had gone. The van had come in the night, put her in. They said she had smiled and said everything was ok. What Muthulingam knew, hearts of hearts, was what troubled him. She loved him. She had never actually said it, but he had seen it in her eyes. He just didn't get how someone could come and put a dog in a van, and take it away like that. Sure, some had collars, some didn't. And those who hadn't collars, could bite. But so many had to suffer, and it was considered ok. But now she was gone, and there was little he could do. Maybe one day, they will come for him too. Funny how much dog and man have in common.



.

Guess where I was this weekend?!

In Wellawatte! Sorry:) Again! But you have to admit, pictures like this don't come every day.

About to rain on saturday evening
About to rain on satruday evening- 4 seconds
A lonely bus stand. The next best thing to yellow light. I took this from a bus parked parallel
while no one was looking.
A pic from India, that has the colours my camera doesn't catch at night.
A pic I took some time ago and hadn't posted.

Paralysed son, wins race on dad's back

This video has been put together apparently to illustrate gods love for human beings.

A video about leaving jesus at home

Mama Mia, Umba Poosa

Sorry- watched it on a free Cargills Magic Ticket today. Thanks pregnant woman from office. Granma watched it too. Neither this nor the movie was horrid. Actually it was quite nice, especially towards the end. Covered by bits of slapstick though, you had a very insightful (winner takes it all kinda made me understand a situation nilhan was telling me (nilhan, the one where I rape someone and ask them how they are feeling) ) . At the cafe. will go on messenger in a bit. will miss nana. I don't think i love him though. ahhh. plus this feeling of emptiness, without god, i wonder when ill let him fill it (god). ok, it's kinda like being on the seashore, and you are walking in water knee high. And then you want to go on a little more, but you are scared. You keep feeling for the sand, when what you should be doing is floating- wonder whether I should just give in to god- but why the hell don't I. ahhh. Worthless. And knowing it. Also, maybe life is about taking things one day at a time. Shyala, the girl in Mama Mia looks like you. Doubt that will get me very far:). That's it. Trevor is a white man. Simplicity is wonderful. It beckons, like the pink over a gloomy evening sea. Help god. Ranjana is great. Ramesh has grown. Btw, i think ppl should have a label on themselves, like bottle cans - "don't discard even when empty" God doesn't. Yes, Why am I so freakinG scared? (dhano dhanithi)

Enough of Wella Beach already!

Human male on the rocks.
Trees standing
Bad camera
People with a life.

Dinesh and Charith, my cell leader and cell mate (cell is this psychotic rehab program I attend)

An attempt at clever photography.

Are you Sri Lankan, or are you Christian?

Hmm. How how, been a long time no? Need a good headline like that to bring you in here these days. I wish i could offer you something. Coffee? sarcasm? honesty would do? You're sure? Great. Today I read the article on Daily Mirror- where a Buddhist monk had asked a commission to look in to unethical conversions. Ya, so, what I was wondering was, parungo, ("see" in Tamil), don't know if you will get angry if I tell you this........ Can I ask you out? Sorry- that wasn't for you. Ok for those of you who don't know, there is quite a lot of tension between Christians and Buddhists in the villages these days because of conversions.

Now if people are converting these people by giving them money, that is most definitely unethical, disgusting and no real Christian will think it right. but unethical or not, these people were not changed by force, like maybe in the crusades, but by their free will.

One problem is, many argue that this is destroying the culture of Sri Lanka. How is it, that the religion I believe in, as a born Sri Lankan, cannot be called Sri Lankan? It's not like Buddhism started in Sri Lanka either right?

Others say converting to Christianity is wrong, because these people are not doing it for spiritual motives, but for other reasons. If a child is born to Buddhist parents, is he a Buddhist for spiritual motives? For sure, he could be over time, but spiritual motives are not the only reason we choose religion. And it's sad. But you don't find the Buddhist priests, or even those following it, my beloved brothers and sisters, who complain about that, do you?

If we don't let people follow a religion of their choice, can we call the Muslim countries fundamentalists? Unethical conversions are wrong. What's even more wrong is not allowing someone to exercise their free will.

Gamen Liyumak by Simple Plan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovQ-6nCJqfc&feature=related

I found out who Jesus was

Today, is tuesday. Today, is a day like any other. Today, i would have come to the cafe and chatted, and watched porn like i have been doing a couple of days-AND THEN my mom called.

She wanted to borrow some money in a hurry. So I went home, really tired after walking the tiring stretch of road after a tiring day at work, after a tiring month, after a tiring year, after a tiring job, after a tiring nearly 5 year career. In my room, i realized, or wanted to realize that I have being believing a lie. There possibly can't be a god? All these experiences I have been having, what if they were perfectly normal. I wondered this for sometime, and then, honestly through no logical sequence, I realized that it was god who had brought me home through this money asking business, without which i would have spent my evening at the cafe. Now i don't like going to the cafe, just that when you have nothing better to do, chatting is a fun thing to do.

I have also been depressed a bit about work not getting out, and i have been depressed about it for a long time, about being unappreciated, leaders who are just bossy cowards, co-workers who let you down, and a good friend leaving. Being underpaid and having 3 jobs due tomorrow morning wiht none of it showing much promise doesn't help. It particularly doesn't help when you have an idea you like and you know it too has a 0.000000000000000000001% of being run. And of course, there is the small fact of having done this all your life. And then i got up, and went to buy bananas for dinner. On the way, I realized who Jesus was. He is a reason for you to go back to a tough job. And personally, he is like a yes fm for me, the best of yesterday, today and tomorrow. I haven't minced words, i know I'm going to get a lot of bashing:) tc

Creative writer needed

A well known radio station group is looking for a creative writer immediately. They want someone who has a bit of experience or is willing to try. Sorry bloggers. Which one of you will it be:(? Email chamin@campana.lk

How to kill a racist

I mis wrote my line "Sinhalese of this day and age are true Sinhalese
people"

I am not saying that this is today's situation, it is NOT. For SURE.

And it won't be until, we let them believe that.

If you wanted a child to stop doing wrong, you don't tell the child telling lies is very bad ah, you told lies, that day, stop it.


He will say I didn't tell lies? Right?


What you say is,

That aunty kumar's son, is terrible, he tells so much of lies.

The child will tell you, "no, no, he is a good boy"


Then, the child will go to school, and tell his friends, why don't we tell the truth for a change.

That is how human beings work.


I know they have racist ways, in fact I work with a mixture of them, some indifferent, some denying and racist" This is the ONLY WAY I CAN REACH THEM NOT BY FOWRRDING WHAT HAPPENED IN 83.

If some people today's young people, disagree, we have to tell them, for sure, to make them know what happened. But we cannot make them racist as well, because we are building one wall, against another wall.

In reply to:

Hi Ashan,
I'm sorry but i personally do not agree with your suggestion. It is easy for
us to believe that the Sinhalese of this day and age are true Sinhalese
people, however, there have been many instances that have proved otherwise.
The blame rests on both sides - Sinhalese and Tamils.

Isolating the present generation from what happened in 83 will not by any
means bring about a solution. I have learnt that at times the lack of knowing
our history, regardless of how brutal it was has caused a lot of
misunderstanding and bitterness.

It is only by educating our present generation of what was that we can truly
move on with healing.

Hope this makes sense

Regards

( i know many of us debate these two views)

Sinhalese burnt Tamils like Christians burnt witches

I think talking about 83, is like telling Christians about the catholic church burning people in the middle ages. I think the key is to isolate today's people from those who lived then. The sinhalese who live today are true Sinhalese, and not racists who spoke sinhalese and made stupid choices. People will be people, mistakes were made. Enough of it. Let's communicate this with all tamil friends we know. Any Sinhalese would want to agree. And it would endear them to tamil people without pushing them away.

Please note this is not because there is NO ethnic distancing, but because there IS at the moment.

Diplomacy causes heart attacks

Do you know Taalya? Taalya Tranchell? She is Johann and Taanya's kid. She is probably 3 years old. Me and charith were getting a lift in their car. Another little girl who i have seen around (probably around five or six) was also there (little girl b)

Little girl a) says to little girl b)

"Are thosh stickhersss??????"

Little girl b) replies

"yesh, Taalya these are MY stickersh. Where are YOUR stickersh? Did you leave them in that room where we were?"

See, she is hardly eight, and has already begun to get caught in to this wretched fear of survival that we fight all our lives. Darwinian evolution through society. She is already assuming that Taalya's parents would think SHE has stolen their daughter's stickers and is anxious to prove her innocence. More importantly, this is just what i really have come to hate at work. It seems that when you're really annoyed, is sometimes when you are really ready to give everyone a dose of truth.

Whenever i have ever achieved anything, it's not been because of diplomacy but because of prayer and because of taking risks. Diplomacy makes us be at false peace with people, and makes us boiling seas of unease, insecurity and I don't know. Don't be diplomatic. Let's take risks. Let's say what's on our mind. Of course, all diplomacy is borne off the fact that either we think the other person can't handle the truth, or we can't tell them the truth. I.e. if we haven't done something wrong ourselves, there is no need to be diplomatic. Let's give people a little more credit than we do. They'll be able to take honesty. The truth in love, is a thousand times more productive than diplomacy.

Murder at Sri Lankan Restaurant

I and Max were having dinner yesterday at a famous restaurant around Mount, when we came across this. Luckily, i hadn't touched it with my feet. The rat had been torn apart, leaving a huge pink scar near its spine. Its face seemed to say "I'll see you in hell, fur ball". The rat was a father of 35.


The dinner

The place

Father of 35

I am stopPING watching porn

No I am not mad. Or castrated. Don't tell me I don't know what I am missing, I know very well :) From Tawnee Stone or Jordan Capri, from Priya Rai to Mindy Vega, from celebs you know, to "Hi my name is Shanelle" from pics to live cams to downloads, from ezgalleries to dailymotion, from sexylk to redtube. Enough said, I know what i am talking about. I think, the question bigger than WHY i stopped was HOW I stopped. The question everybody who passes the WHY gets to. Well actually i have been praying about it for quite a long time. But that's not enough to stop. I found a book called "When Man's Eye Wonders". Porn, according, is not pure biological need, but brought on half by boredom, and half by unfulfilled ambitions and frustrations we have. The moment we say, yes, I am going to get that job I want, the moment we believe, yes, I am going to go out with that person I really want to one day, we have won half the battle. The rest of the battle, is living through the boredom that it leaves you with, which is hard. So why stop watching porn? Well, if your Christian, there are lots of reasons why "you are committing adultery just by looking etc., etc.,) If you are NOT, all is still not well. From personal experience, women in relationships are normally hurt when they find you watch porn.
Also from experience, it just does not let you see women body, mind and soul, you se them as body and your trying to convince yourself about the rest. Where mind is involved, that is just added aphrodisiac. I'm sleepy but want to finish this. Also it's suposed to mess up your sex life in marriage, not enhance it. But I haven't been married yet to know. There was something else. Oh yes, you also stop hating yourself for doing it. This is not a debate on whether porn is good or bad, but how to stop. But feel free to comment.


Please note that i tried, and i went back for some time after stopping. Though it matters little to ho god sees me, I will do my level best to stop. And fail. Wonder if a man can ever stop completely. Wish me luck

.

A bit of central, eastern, and western Sri Lanka.

Waiting for egg rottis and tea in Anuradhapura.

On the way back from Anuradhapura by train


Avocado pears getting up in the morning, in Kandy.

Negombo in the horizon, an evening north of colombo harbour
Sunset over wellawatte marin drive, as seen from a flat that i live in (again)
Anuradhapura town, and the rest of central Sri Lanka at sunset, as seen from Mihintale rock
Sunset over Trinco beach (east sri lanka), as seen from Mihintale rock (central sri lanka)

I believe in a history delete button.

None of us are perfect, least of all me. Wouldn't it be nice if life was just like internet explorer. You just go, click on history , and you can delete anything. With Jesus, life is just like that. You can argue, but i know i have been forgiven a thousand times for the mistakes and deliberate ones i have made. And I really hope, I will give others as much forgiveness and patience as I get from him (needless to say, I don't). In fact, the one thing that I wake up to is his love. The question is not whether i am a fanatic, or whether i am correct. the question is, if there is a history delete button, would you take it?

Long weekend in wellawatte

Went to the beach on Saturday with my brother and Charith




Saw some jelly fish for the first time in 15 years
and people say i don't have features



Special rescue equipment to get them in to the ocean again.
On Monday night, a perahera joined me down the road as I walked back from a friend's place. What excellent timing... Ladies and gentlemen, the world famous Wella perahera...

Super Model on Voyeur Cam

Some of us are blessed with beauty and not brains. this hot model was experimenting with the phone and didnt know it was a video camera. Enjoy!

Could it have been murder?

this video was made totally with my k510 Sony Ericsson phone, and it's editing software. in addition to being an unpaid advertisement, it's a documentary on extinction and probably the shortest (and hopefully not the most boring) murder mystery ever.

man attempts to cross waterfall!

Dinesh, one of my friends attempts terrifying feat of crossing this killer fast stream of water in the icy Hatton hills. Watch the video on the blog address, facebook people. Videoing had to be postponed because of a leech i discovered in my pants. Much more dangerous, than any waterfall.

General Hospital, Colombo, February 3rd

On the afternoon of the Fort station bomb blast, I got a call from one of my friends saying that one of the people who had been killed was his cousin. He had seen this on TV when they were showing casualties. One of his relatives was this lady; she was lying on a stretcher like thing inside the hospital wincing in pain. Every time she lifted her head to speak, she put it down in exhaustion. Her body had darkened and bloated, with quite a lot of black bruises sprayed across her legs. Of course, in the busy hospital environment, she was just one of the many injured. Apparently, she, her son aged 8 I believe, and niece aged 12 had been getting ready to go to Kandy that day, the next day being Independence day. She remembered being thrown by the blast. Naturally she kept asking about the two children, right up to the point, when I had to lift her head to find it sticky with blood as they got her ready for surgery. Her son had survived, though being rushed in to surgery. The twelve-year-old girl was dead. However you can’t tell a woman who is being rushed in to surgery that, so we lied, that the girl was ok. Moving down to where the girl’s body was, I had to find my way to the morgue. On that day, there was a large piece of paper on the general hospital entrance. This classified the entries in to the morgue, not by name, but by what they were wearing. On the way to the morgue, you pass a number of wards. The morgue is the last stop before the exit from the hospital. While you would normally find a hospital ward unpleasant, you'd give an arm or a leg to see your mother or father in any of these these wards, instead of the room at the end of the lane. There were families banging heads against the walls, and one or two on the floor. The morgue was full because, in addition to waiting for the lawyer to arrive, many of the victims’ families didn’t have money to bury the bodies. Going outside the gate, I met the mother of the girl who had died. Today would be the first day her daughter would not say goodnight to her. She had given up everything to bring this girl up, and today she would not join her family as they left that lonely side gate of the General Hospital. I was so angry at that moment. What can you do or say? The Government never asked her opinion on whether to go to war or not. Maybe she didn’t even vote for this Government. It’s not those who advocate war who are killed. Nor the intellectuals on their TV shows, seated around tequila and batter fried cuttle fish. Nor the cowards who hide themselves away in helicopters and bunkers, but the defenseless. Those who bring up their children in hardship, who havenothign to travel in but buses and trains all their lives. Blind people, like on the following day, who came and sat outside the morgue because they don’t have money to bury their nephews and nieces.
That night, the hospital was decorated with bulbs for Independence the next day. So maybe some will argue that the peace process won’t work out. That in a war people will die. That those who die don’t die in vain. Well, I’d like to tell those people, to let their mothers and fathers die in honor, because I am not going to sacrifice mine. If there was even a 5% chance of peace, I am going to take that, and I bet you would too. Maybe we are a lot like the General Hospital, full of bodies on the inside, decorated on the outside.

The Bad Samaritan

(monday, colombo sri lanka, opposite majestic city on my way home)


Today i came across a man fallen on the street with his eyes open. Everyone saw, three people slowed down, no one went back. Being human, neither did I. After gathering strength i went back about twice and saw a village mother and poor child stopping.They found he was alive with a numbing headache. He had no hands. I failed. I didnt talk to him after all I believe in. I called the police though. This is where the story begins . Numbers 112 and 119, emergency were both engaged. Finally getting through.I told them that there was a man fallen, and dying. While i waited for this jeep, i came across three policeman. One was in a shop and told me there was a jeep on the other side tell them. I didnt catch this jeep. I ran across the road, and waited.A jeep pulled up . I stopped it, and told them there was a man lying there about to die. They asked where. I said near the DSI at the Bamba junction (this jeep was at the turn off).

They told me politely we are Colpetty police, please tell Bamba policeSo i almost impolitely told them that this man is going to die. They said they cant help . however they had the authority to command the polla woman to bring them a sheaf of beetle. They then laughed turned and went. I met another old policeman.The old policeman asked where and after telling me that i dont know what beggars are, and much reluctance followed . The much awaited jeep had come. They knew what they had to do though. They shouted at him. They asked him if he fell. He said no. Scared he said he never said that . They showed me and jeered thinking he lied. He told them his head was really aching.

They told him to get out, and take two panadols . I have never seen a dog treated worse. He was a handless penniless beggar.They cursed him and told him that people like him were a bother for them. I will never forget him the police or the old man from the mosque opposite who laughed at him. Dont get me wrong i loved a girl who was muslim. But this is our country .Reading this many will tell you, you can do nothing, just walk on by. Please dont tell yourself that. You can choose to walk by or be a man or woman who actually counts .

If something has to be done, its not the leaders the police or army . I should have spoken to that man and taken him to the hospital. So . like that beggar Our country is dying . call the police :-), walk on by or do what you have to.

Mahinda Rajapakse has a weakness

Where is dinesh?!

When Rizna was a word to reckon with, and work was hard, and life was simple, one day dinesh went missing.

Pictures from the most important city in the world

urgghh... It's food for the dogs..
and you thought they were trying to kill you

wella beach where civilization as i know it began

sorry about the slight tilt. the beach in the afternoon
A pic i was fortunate to catch sumtime ago from my uncle's room
fishing
fishing
my family, mom, granma, baby sister . the guy on the left is, yes, you guessed it, granpa.
a chilled out sunset
fishing

I'm alive! i'm alive!

and that's only because jesus who i fail more regularly than more regularly and i do anythign else, kept his word. Jesus rocks. So today MAx (who hasn't given back my thousand rupees byt ehn jahufar hasnt taken back his 2ooo, and i haven't got my 45,000 and i still have to pay about 210,000 so it's all good) who i had a wonderful celebration by the beach (no stars, never there when you need them) with, he was amazed. I am over Rizna, and everyone else (in a good way). Thank you. Now that that's out of the way i hope this page will bring you joy, hope, love and happiness and everything else you don't like to mention but have a kink for. You love joy don't you? oh you dirty little (now can't use slang also) you little (still haven't got another word other than what marsh says) anyway no, let's keep it our little secret that in reality you too want joy, love and security, let's not tell a soul ok, they would laugh, because i mean who needs it right lol, i mean who needs people being nice to them and listenign to their problems , and can i say it? look if anyone's around..... Crying?????????...shhhhhhhhhhhh!.. Crying??! you must be kidding i mean when was the last time you did that, at LEAST 10 weeks- I mean Years (hope we didn't offend anyone) :). It's only Jesus who wants that kind of thing. Reminds me of a party last week, called the geel party, where everybody had to dress up as geeks. Naomi it was a bit of a mess, not that i wouldn't have liked seeing drunk girls on tables ( but i'm glad i am didn't). I am digressing right now. Whoever you are, I'll catch you on your radio, your TV (fat chance, but possible, a quite small possibility in fact). Eat your veggies, it'll show you life is not a bed of roses.

The Pillawoos Meow

(a little short thing hopefully one of many- not to say iv forgotten about rizna- have hope eitherways. Neway... njoy)


The Pillawoos Meow is about a cat who ate at Pillawoos and turned in to a mutant.


prologue-

The cat was going on the road with his parents. A thief (cat burglar) came and asked for his mother’s bag. His father tried to make peace with the man but the burglar ended up shooting both his parents. The thief then rubbed the little cat’s ears and ran off.

The cat was stranded over the body of his dead parents.

All this was becoming quite boring.

So the cat burglar came and also shot the little cat, and he himself pretended to be the little frightened boy.

Scene Two.

It was night. Nayane and some other underpaid advertising people are having kottu at Pillawoos. A piece of Kottu is accidentally dislodged from the plate, and falls, and falls, and falls ever so lightly on to the floor. A running cockroach is attracted to its fluorescent glow. It takes a bite. Immediately, its eyes were opened, and it realized it was naked. Different cockroaches have different experiences of such enlightenment. Some walk. Some talk to the dead. Some read books, and write great literature. Cockroaches, all in all, are not to be despised. They are actually wonderful beings, only living in the drains because of the stigma we sometimes unknowingly push on them. In reality they are born pilots and incurable romantics. Very often a youngster showing off his flight skills has been misunderstood and slippered. It is perhaps why at Cockroach burials, a verse is “from shoes to shoes” because it is this very place where the young cockroach opens its eyes that it will one day meet its death. Nature is cruel. But Kottu is worse and that my friend is what our cat friend found out.
It was not just any night. It was a rainy night. And as any cat would say, when it rains, it purrs.
It is hard to say how and what exactly happened that night. It could have been some tea on the ground. Or a piece of de-ionized cheese rotti. All we know, is that cat never walked out that night. A large, six-legged thing, flew out with many mews. And that my friend, is the Pillawoos Meow. Have you seen the Pillawoos Meow yet? Keep your eyes open (and your nose closed) when you next pass by.

The joy of terminal illness

Well, for want of a slightly better title. one must find the balance between being interesting and honest. Anyway, children. Where we left off, was where the big bad wolf was about to enter the little piggies house. unfortunately, much like in our steak promotion ad, this time, the wolf did come in, and far as Rizna and all the rest are concerned it is the END. But coming to this point, of death, we shall discuss two very interesting paradigms, dear enlightened. Before and After. As one might expect, after death it was hell. basically, on friday afternoon, at three something, my reason for living (at least recently) ok reason for living is too much, but most positively conducive factor, in the presence of heat, light and water, and God (He Had to make an appearance (and thank God for that (thank God for God?:), anyway at Three something, i got what would be some of the most heartbreaking news i woulod have to live through. like all heart breaking news it doesnt hit you till later. That friday night to saturday mornign i have literally been through a state of negative semi existence (very sad) I cried myself to sleep, somethign i have done before, and once again, i had to give in to the one answer that every human being has turned to in helplessness. God. The pain didn't go away, but i had strength i never did to face it and this strength is what keeps me going, purely this strength and nothing else. It's tought still, but God is a God of excitement, and God is a God of miracles, and honestly I figure if God cant help me, no one can, so I may mess up a couple of times, but if you are reading this post, and I talk to you ten years from now, whatever the outcome, if, as i wish i could ( I really do love her) god lets me be with her, or has drastically other plans, you willl know who desrves the round of applause. Everytime i cried in the night btw, its (obviously) always for somethign dramatic. 2001- no OL fees- I went to sleep crying- result my uncle from isngapore had called it was apid on the last day to pay
2005- i had got fired from Saatchi and Saatchi, went to do some work for church, came back walking at 11 pm from mount to wella. I got mugged, and had my phone stolen. that was the last straw. I cried out to god and said ( a bit mean) lord you have taken everything away from me . Please I need a job.

During that week, i got three calls, and all three were willing to hire me. I dont think it had much to do with me.

This is, the third of extreme helplessness. It's still hard. But When i was goign through that period without my job I remmeber an evening service where Ryan said, sometimes it may seem like Friday, but Sunday is on its way . And It is a bit like Saturday today, but i know that one day I will go to the tomb and find the Resurrection in my own situation. And like action TV says, this one's over to you, Jesus.

( i know i said ill dwell on two points before and after death, but forget it, we dont need to go there)

The thought of losing a loved one.

It's tough men. It's like you don't want to leave that part of you behind, in memories. It's like driving off from that lane you used to play in- i played in a lane in the evening down near senanayeke place. This lane i remmeber most in the evening. there was a wall that seperated the lane from the Dehiwala beach and railroad. But it didn't matter, because all the excitement happened on this side of the wall. ok, starting from the end there was, the well house we had problems with at the far right, and opposite, there was i don't know- zeenia used to live there. A plump little girl who started coming to the same montessoori as i did when i was little (no this ddint develop in to a romance, she was 3 and i didnt have a job) any way, the rest though rpobably beautiful (have you watched crash? or babel ) is a story for another day. Anyway these were all, like the white van and the green van and the grey van and the brown van i went to school in (and towards the end the yellow van) a long, long way off. Yes, like my great grand mother, achchi, sin. Memories like thilini, and my friends who used to hang out every morning delon, carol, isuru and ifaz in the playground before school- the punishments, interval, the sweat, the funny smell of necto and canteen lolipops and 50 cent kisses and theat highlands staircase. good times. Anyway. as good as it is. I don't want to leave rizna in memmories. But You have been with me and let whoever is reading this know You will be with them too till the end. I tried my best. c u soon. take care

it's a not so lovely sunday night...

well if u read that and still came in to what would be the body copy if this was advertising, thank you- just had a banana split- one of those things at carnival. oh by the way, that rizna thing- oh yes - i dont;' know if it's got better or worse. But one thing i know, that whatever happens whether we will be just friends or if i am to end up marryng her, god will be with me till the end. That lline so doesn't do justice to do the relief i felt today. i mean it's still hard. Anyway the purpose of this blog is not to vent out my feelings, but to be a vent for yours. A bit cliche, but useful. Having said that, now let's talk about the sea. But i want to talk about riznaaaaaaaaaa

The Lion is Still King

well i have a posh way of tying that in- but first, its basiocally a very tumultous period in any brown persons life. What with Sri lanka losing the match yesterday, buying dinner at CH and having stuff on your credit card you dont know how you are goign to pay (when the money your mom owes you wont come, but thats not a nice thign to tell a stranger, but hey wateva makes for good reading) and to top it all off there are air raids, and RIZNA (oh we ve all heard about her (SAL) ) ) riznaaaaaaa...... hey shyala the day u see this:) anyway im planning on showing this to you tomorrow - intropduce rizna? well to no avail but who knows- anyway moving smoothly but swiftly as marsh would say, ---- with entertaining digression (no thats naat yan yendian medical problem)( i lost my sense of humopur in the dark yesterday ) THEY WERE BOMBING US! yes with a massive phone bill to pay, work to deliver tomorrow, "Ashan my exams are coming up on the 16th of may if u didnt know" as the white witch would say (the white witch i adore again), and and and ,... bills and brothers and PORN yes PORN and sooo much more and Chat and all that knowing this we have air raids when Sri lanka is loosing a match. ALL in one night! and they take the power away so u miss it all - well im deviating here, odd, like a curve on your.... :) anyway how, how do u live - like Shyala's line that never ran (bcoz Sri lanka didnt win)my grandmother by the way celebrated in her coven under moonlight) shame on me if i feel secure bcoz her line didnt run- sinfor her, god oops sorry, forgot- the G word- if u may since its such unaaceptable language these days -:) how do u live? how do u seriously- it's hard right- newAY he says "be still and know that i am god" and that works father, thank you.
So now what? if only this blog went out and became famous.

the man in my life.

ok i loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove rizna. but god loves me so muc more. and ok, if ur reading this, i want to tell u i was a person hu always had to live up to ppl. my pparents, my uncle, now my boss, and my friends sometime. u know wen u dont make it every one will turn ur back on u and make u feel little. but god wont. and thats my god. sorry lord.

between rizna and the rest of life.

to love her to love her not to love her to love her not to love her to ove her not. neway. she rocks. this girl. if uv eva been in love. neway. finished narnia about 4 books. the times i write therese (hopefully ull know me in some way and not be a complete stranger) is when the cafe is closing down and i am tired. neway i shall try to present my case over the next period of time honestly and accurately.

god: if this was a play, the god would be the misunderstood old man and father who provides. who am i lord.

had a chat with max today but came right back to the cafe. chatted wastefully. waste waste yes. tomorrows work havent done nicolas friends paras. weda nathuwata. aiyoo. . will start soon this blog before it goes extraterrestrial. (there, that's the producer calling, it's time out today folks, hope ur life is enjoyable. please post here.

letter to my unborn child

how u doing nigger. that's a bit vile right:) neway. how u. actually i was thinking of writing a leetr to superman. you know the letter his dad leaves him? this is because for those of u outside it, advbertising- the job? disease ? life? i have teaches u to consider a lot of options before putting an idea down. and then u execute it, and think of differenty situations of it. so if u ever wondered how we come up wiht the trash u see on tv its hard work. its even harder work to bin urs for wat does go, but that, my child, born or unborn, is another story.

How r u. hmm. this blogging is a funny thing. this bloggin. im probabbly growing quite old now. so that means a lot of my friends right now- older friends are possibly dead. well if they are living for work and nothgin else they could be. but that's not interesting, but agian this is my space, so wait till the intersting parts come on. listenign to u2 now. they are awesome. it's nice to talk of random things is nt it. we ll toalk next of plants, rocks, and sprite. and coke- i love coke. chilled coke. ....mmm. as yummy as angelina jolie- but less forbidden.

genesis

this moment of begninning is so pressurizing, that it cud be described as stage fright. neway. wasuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup. how u doing - my . im gonna stop here and begin again . quite cool dont u think. and maybe tomorrow ill tell u a story.